


Words Unspoken

by fraldariusVEVO



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Self-Hatred, character death mention, coming to terms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24836287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraldariusVEVO/pseuds/fraldariusVEVO
Summary: Sylvain is reckless once again, Felix saves him. They are both a little harsh on Sylvain.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Kudos: 46





	Words Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> this was kinda cathartic so pls no booly :( initial idea inspired by this art ( https://twitter.com/pending_url/status/1242652113517383680?s=21 )

Afternoon sunlight shone through the stained glass windows of the infirmary. Sylvain sat in a bed, a sheepish grin plastered on his face, while Felix lectured him.  
"I mean really,  **what** were you  _ thinking _ ?!" Felix shouted, "You can’t keep going off on your own. You  _ know _ how dangerous that is. You can’t take on a group of soldiers by yourself. I  **told** you this would happen. You never listen to me, do you?"  
Sylvain sighed, still smiling, "I’m sorry, Fe. I’m still alive though, so I’d say that’s a win."  
Felix turned his back to Sylvain. He had trouble communicating his emotions properly especially when it came to his childhood best friend and longtime crush.  
"You really don't get it, do you." Felix’s question came out as more of a statement.  
Sylvain stayed quiet. He was in pain and tired. He didn't have the energy to argue back with Felix this time.  
“I-” Felix started, his voice cracking a bit as he tried to maintain his composure, “ _ we _ all need you. The reason I- we get so mad at you when you do this is not only cause it's an inconvenience to our forces, but also because we  _ fucking _ care.”  
Sylvain felt his heart drop into his stomach like it weighed a ton. He'd seen Felix cry hundreds of times when they were kids, but never as adults. He certainly had never cried in front of Felix, either.  
“I'm sorry.” was all Sylvain managed to say. He feared if he attempted more words, they'd come out as cries.  
“Yeah, well…” Felix sighed and stiffened his lip, “prove it. Stop acting like a fool in battle. I've already had to bury my brother, mother, and father. If you break our promise and make me have to bury you, I'll…”  
Felix couldn't finish his sentence. He shook his head and made his way to the door. The next moment, Sylvain was alone in the infirmary.

Despite his often aloof nature, Sylvain internalized everything. In fact, it was the reason he acted the way he did. If he pretended that the bad stuff didn't happen, then it couldn't really hurt him. Right?  
Sylvain chuckled to himself. His mind was a flurry of emotions, as it often was. He thought it was somewhat funny that Felix acted like he cared so much about him. He laughed. It felt like a cry, but he wasn't crying. He never cried. He hadn't cried for years. He didn't need to cry.  
A sigh; Sylvain ran his hands over his unbandaged arm. It was starting to darken from Dark Magic use. He figured if he kept up his current magic use, his hands would be ruined sooner rather than later. He didn't care. He didn't care about the deep scars running down the lengths of his arms, thighs, back. He didn't care that his nose was crooked from being broken two times. He didn't care that the bags under his eyes from hundreds, maybe even thousands, of sleepless nights were getting darker by the day. He didn't need to look pretty in war. No one wanted him anyway.  
He let out a  _ hmph  _ followed by a much deeper sigh. The usual crooked smile that was on his face had faded to a much more chagrin expression. It was kind of embarrassing, having to be saved constantly. It's not like he wanted to be saved. Sylvain furrowed his brows. Memories of Felix calling out his name in terror and anguish replied in his head like a broken record. Did Felix really care? Was that even possible?  
Another memory played, this time happier. It was a few years before the Tragedy of Duscur.

_ “SYLVAIN!! Wait for me!!” Felix cried out as he ran to keep up with his long-legged friend.  
_ _ “Come on, slow poke! Last one there shares a meal with Ingrid!” Sylvain laughed as he purposefully started to slow down. He liked to give little Felix at least a chance.  
_ _ “I don't  _ want  _ to share a meal with her, she eats everything! I want to share a meal with you! Ingrid won't eat my veggies for me so I don't get in trouble with daddy.”  
_ _ Sylvain laughed and came to a stop, “Fe, you need to eat your veggies so you can grow up and be a strong knight like Glenn! Isn't that what you want to do?”  
_ _ Felix's lower lip started to quiver, “I don't know, being a knight seems scary. Will you become a knight with me?”  
_ _ Sylvain put his arm around Felix and they walked together, “Of course. I'll always be by your side to keep you out of trouble.”  
_ _ “You better! We made a promise. If you break it, I'll…  _ _ cry a lot _ _.”  
_ _ “More than usual?”  
_ _ Felix hit Sylvain, gently, “Shut up!!” _

Maybe Felix did care. He had a funny way of showing it, but Sylvain had a funny way of showing his affection to Felix as well. Maybe that's why Felix hadn't left him yet; Sylvain was sure if he'd found out about his feelings for him, he would never speak to him again.  
Sylvain remembered Felix, thirteen years old, after the tragedy that took his brother. That was the last time Sylvain had seen him cry. At least, that was until Rodrigue’s death. Felix made him swear never to tell anyone, but he always remembered.  
The glow of sun through the glass was shifting and starting to fade into dusk. Sylvain found himself unconsciously clenching his fists so tight, his knuckles had started to turn white. Something was stinging in his eye.  
_ Fuck _ , he thought,  _ I'm such a fucking idiot. I'm so useless. No one will ever love me.  
_ He couldn't help the thoughts that flooded into his mind. Before he knew it, he was sobbing. He still sat upright in bed, fists clenched, head turned down.  
_ You're such a disappointment. Your brother hated you. Your parents hate you. Even your friends hate you.  
_ He couldn't take it anymore. He just couldn't keep it all bottled up any longer. His choked sobs became harsher and his cries louder.  
The door creaked open, “Sylvain…?” it was Felix again.  
_ Great timing. Now he's gonna think you're pathetic.  
_ Felix rushed into the room and to Sylvain’s side, “What… what's wrong? Why are you crying?”  
If Sylvain had known any better, he'd think Felix’s voice actually sounded genuine. Like he really did care.  
Sylvain couldn't answer; the sobs kept rolling out of him like a dam had broken in his tear ducts.  
Felix pulled a stool to the bedside and sat down. He reached for one of Sylvain's clenched fists.  
“Syl…” he started. The crack in his voice was back. He hated seeing Sylvain like this, especially knowing how embarrassed he always got after crying. He always seemed so small and vulnerable; a stark contrast to how he acted day to day.  
“W-why…” Sylvain tried to find the words through his cries, “why did y-you come back…”  
“I wanted to apologize.” Felix forced open Sylvain's hand so he could take it. He wasn't quite sure what he was doing, but it was like his brain was on autopilot. He couldn't stop himself from caressing Sylvain's hand with his thumb in an attempt to soothe him.  
Sylvain sobbed again before taking a moment to breathe, “Why.”  
Felix sighed and furrowed his brows in impatience, “Because I felt bad for being too harsh on you. And I realized I… guilt tripped you and I wanted to say I'm sorry. I don't…”  
Wow, Felix was actually telling Sylvain how he felt. He wasn't beating around the bush or being passive aggressive. He just wanted to make Sylvain stop crying. He didn't want to hurt him.  
Sylvain stared expectantly at Felix.  
“S-stop staring at me like that. I'm just apologizing.”  
“That's not like you,” Sylvain sniffled and gave a weak smile, “but go on.”  
Felix rolled his eyes, already comforted by the sight of Sylvain returning to his normal self. He knew he still needed to be careful, and honest, with his words.  
“Listen-”  
“I'm listening.” Sylvain cut Felix off, which awarded him a glare.  
“Sylvain. We made a promise. We vowed to keep it. If you're going to go on a death mission, the least you could do is tell me and let me come with so that if you die, I can die with you.”  
_ Fuck!  _ Sylvain thought,  _ I can't let him die.  
_ “No.” Sylvain said. He felt the tears coming back.  
“What?”  
“I don't want to put you in that kind of danger.”  
“Well, I don't want  _ you  _ in that kind of danger, either!”  
“Felix, I-”  
“No, Sylvain, just stop.” Felix was crying. Sylvain wasn't sure if he'd noticed yet.  
They sat in silence for a moment. Felix was trying his hardest to steady his breath, but the tears just wouldn't comply.  
“Sylvain, you're… you're so fucking  **_dense_ ** , I just-  _ Goddess _ , I LOVE you! I don't want you to die because I  _ love _ you…”  
Felix's sentence blended seamlessly with his next assortment of sobs. He refused to let go of Sylvain.  
It clicked.  
“Wait, you… actually care about me? I thought that was a joke?”  
Felix looked up to Sylvain, wet eyes and quizzical expression, “What…?”  
“I mean… fuck, I…” Sylvain grumbled as he tried once again to find the right words. Instead, more cries came out.  
“Goddess… Ingrid was right.” Felix closed his eyes. He composed himself before looking back at Sylvain.  
“About what?”  
“We are both so oblivious.” They locked eyes. Neither of them said another word for what seemed like an eternity. If it really had been an eternity, Sylvain didn't seem to mind. Living was always a little more bearable with Felix around.  
“I love you, Felix.” Sylvain finally confessed, “I'm sorry I-”  
Felix quickly got up from his stool and silenced Sylvain with a short, gentle kiss.  
“Please stop apologizing. You haven't done anything wrong. I… understand you're insecure; but I really…” Felix sighed and seemed frustrated; he hated showing emotions, “I love you so much. I am in love with you, Sylvain. I care about you. I want you here, alive.”

That was enough for Sylvain.


End file.
